You Found Me
Profilectlx.Carlene Tan Li Xuan 11th July 1988. Currently 23+. Studied in St. Anthony's Canossian Primary and Secondary School, SRJC (first 3 months), TPJC, NUS FASS (econs). loves family, friends, chocs, western desserts, yellow, etc etc.
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Friday, August 28, 2009The feeling of wanting to run back to where it was once comfortable and safe is suddenly overwhelming me.I have changed. I don't want to become who I'm not anymore. Let me be patient and kind once more. Let me not be tempted. Friday, August 21, 2009thanks everyone for your care and concern. I really appreciate it. I just hope he's alright too. Since I've decided to let go, I must not regret right?I just want to release it out. It's not coming out in tears, but I need it to come out. Someone teach me how. Sigh. Tuesday, August 18, 2009Today, I ended my first relationship.He is a good guy. He loved me more than I did. He gave me more than I gave. He accomodated my flaws. He became more handsome and changed since army. But I don't know why i didn't reciprocate. I don't know why I couldn't find enough time for him. Things changed as time passed. It was no longer the same. I don't want to feel guilty for not reciprocating anymore. I don't want to hold him back anymore. I'm sure there is someone out there who will give him the attention and love he deserves. He definitely deserves much more than what I've been giving him. I want him to laugh more than he cries. I want my heart to stop crying and start crying out loud. I want him to find joy. Please don't let him cry anymore because I just don't deserve it. Please bless him with good health. Please let his studies be good. Please refrain him from closing up anymore. Please take care of him. Saturday, August 15, 2009I'm finally updating again MEI YI!! hahaha...I'm glad she still bothers to read my blog. LOVE YA.. haha... Well, another week has quickly passed and soon, school is going to really start with tutorials and all. Somehow not really looking forward to them. Currently its the IBG season and its all about sports! Looking forward to them actually, even though i can't really play. Haha.. Really hope to improve a little on volleyball and netball this time though. =Z Anyways, it seems like KR is going to go for Chingay once again. I think next year our residents are going to be pretty burnt out especially with the celebration of our 30th anniversary. Oh, I had a very foodful week I must say. Went for ice-cream buffet with about 20 other people at Orchard Ion. It was FANTASTIC!! Really MY kind of food. hahaha... Just had hall bash on Thurs. Managed to borrow this really pretty top from Mei qian. Super grateful to her for it. Wouldn't have know what to wear if not for her. =) So it was a week of spending money. Well, wanted to upload some pics, but the com refuse to let me. =( Guess you'll have to catch the pictures on facebook! =) Thursday, August 06, 2009I think I've been in a bad mood pretty easily recently and I'm not sure why. It's like recently I've been seeing lots of people putting up false fronts and just left wondering how they can actually live with it. I mean it's like 3 months holidays are over and they've become this rehearsed someone. Smiley in front of those they think they need to be chummy with and with everyone else, a different self.I guess sometimes after certain events, we all change to become another self that we don't even realise. I just hope that maybe after some time, these people that I've noticed change in will change back to their old self. O.K. Sounds like I'm uttering rubbish once more. Man... Anyways, I think I shall talk about my date for dating game! =D He's been really nice, wrote me poems and baked me stuff. He baked me a fruit cake and a butter cake and just a night ago, he gave me a brownie!! SUPER NICE!! hahaha... Oh, might as well type his poems here. This is his first poem to me. He pasted this big smiley face and wrote this... The smile above is nothing compared to yours... Cause you have a smile that's lethally sweet (yah it can light up a gazillion light bulbs, or maybe the whole of Vegas) And it never fails to brighten up my day. So SMILE. Cute right... Hahaha.. Here's the second one titled Fine Sparks of Glitter. I was blinded by these grand constellations. Flickering in their enormity as they stood, alone, majestically beautiful, holding my awestruck gaze. The lights started fading. And I started sprinting towards them. Slow I was, as darkness englufed me and spat me back into reality. I was left wondering where the litle stars in the sky went. I was left wondering... till I saw the glistening face of yours. In your face lies my answer, the answer captured by your freckles that unmistakably shine as mysteriously as Aurora Borealis And I thank the hand for laying them onto your radiant face, to be your freckles. HAHAHA... quite funny right. By the way, if you spotted the spelling error.. it's meant to be spelt that way cause that's how it was spelt in the poem pasted on my door. hahaha... Quite an interesting guy lar. Never had a girlfriend before so didn't know exactly what to do for me. So ah wells.. think it was very nice of him thus far. =) Alrightie, shall end here.. =) Take care peeps! =) Wednesday, August 05, 2009It's been a year since the last time i camped outside Kovan MRT for a day with two tin cans and a perpetual smile. And yesterday was THE DAY once again. Flag day. =)Never really enjoyed flag day in the past two years because I felt it was tiring, and pointless. No one really knows where the money goes to anyways, and I've heard stories that a bulk of these donations actually goes to some NUSSU thing. However, this year is different. The 20 beneficiaries listed on the can were purely beneficiaries that really needed help and I think that helped me pull through a lot this year. This time, my group headed to Woodlands. I was really lucky as I situated myself at the area where everyone was waiting for bus to get to work. Admist the long queue, I was there collecting donations from each and everyone, and since some of them had time while waiting, they decided to donate. And that's how I filled up my first tin much quicker than the rest. Also approached those sitting down and those who were standing but sleeping. Basically, I just believed no one would punch girls so might as well just be bold and approach them and it did help a little although I heard mumblings like "WA, so early one ah", and had comments like "haiyo, so early collect road tax ah". But, they weren't unkind or anything. So anyways, the traffic flow became less as time passed and soon the area that was once filled with humans soon became barren. At about 10.15a.m, I took the bulk for my group for a rest in BK and we decided to spilt up to try the different areas the flag team had suggested to catch the lunch crowd. Here comes the first funny experience. 1. 3 of my girls stayed behind to continue collecting at Woodlands MRT whilst the rest of us decided to try Republic Poly (RP). We headed down to the bus interchange and saw bus 902 which had Republic Poly on it so my friend suggested we waited there. After 10 minutes or so, the bus still hadn't come. So i was whining a little and then.... my friend said to look at the sign.  The last bus was at 8.30a.m!!! Stupid but hilarious. So we went there, left 3 of them there and the rest of us started exploring Woodlands. Left another 2 of them at some industrial estate hoping to catch the lunch time crowd. They left a little while later as there was really no one there. A freshman and I had another little adventure. We hopped on a bus as given in the instructions in search for this place called Woodgrove. Never found it but we landed at 888 Plaza instead. I don't know why but i was pretty determined to hit the neighbourhood people and it was pretty successful for me. Filled up quite a lot in my empty second can, and here came funny experience 2. 2. I was happily collecting flags, feeling hopefuly with each person that passes by because despite them not donating, they were friendly and I really found joy standing there. =) The kids made it bearable, the kind people there who donated made it bearable. Old aunties and uncles who have problems walking properly were generous enough to donate. That made it extremely heart-warming. Nearly teared! haha. So there I was, fanning myself once in awhile when suddenly this man who was smoking at the smoking table in the coffee shop to my right came up to me and said "girl, wo juan gei ni, ni sms wo" and stuffed me a piece of tissue paper with his name and number!!! *PENGZ* I was TERRIFIED!! I have never had such an experience when doing flag! So i was really frightened. I know most of you would think I should move away since I was alone, but i really didn't want to budge cause I like the place I was standing!! It was pretty good fengshui and I was standing in between two bakeries! The smell was fantastic!! HAHA.. I was standing right outside a maid agency by the way. I must say, they were very amused by me collecting flag cause they kept looking at me through their glass door. Hahahhahaha... Well so anyways, back to that stranger. I decided to just heck and continue standing there till I finished all the stickers on the sheet I was holding. Eventually I did and thankfully nothing happened. =) But I must say, it was really an experience in a lifetime. Later on, I found it super amusing. Hahahahha. So the funny ends there. We headed to Clementi at around 5p.m to meet Rachie for dinner. Wanted to find that nice Surfer's Paradise slippers but it was out of stock. =Z Had an awesome dinner at Sumo House though. Love my freshies! =) |
